nitrous, ice cream, vicodin and sushi

This would have been my recipe for an almost perfect day if it weren't for the two hours of horrifying dental work that occasioned all the rest of it.
Vicodin is the new lollipop at the dentist's office; I get some for coming in and being a good girl.
I auditioned my dentists intelligently for a change; I called them up and said that I needed a dentist who was very drug friendly because I am extremely neurotic, have a low pain threshold, and am terrified of dentistry. Since my mouth represents huge dental profits (I have had something like six root canals over the past two years), most dentists are willing to comply.
I think that dentistry is really just a scam anyway. They invented the anitbiotic that would knock out the bacteria that feeds on teeth many many years ago, but they need to keep their oral rape terror squads in the big bucks. So I sat there breathing in the nitrous and I have been in such a bad mood lately that it felt good to feel euphoric, even with a stranger's hand in my mouth.
Once, when I went to the dentist, I had this suden insight that if I just really really maintained and claimed it wasn't affecting me they would raise up the level really high. Well, I'm a natural born loady so I tried it out and got them to jack it up. And then I started feeling this weird feeling, like something I almost could put a name to, something I had felt before somewhere, what was it? man I know that feeling and it was just about at the tip of my tongue when...
it came right off my tongue and all over the dentist's walls and floors. What is nausea, Alex? Christ. there is nothing like feeling nausea really gradually sneaking up on you when you are so fucking high you can't even recognize it. What was great though was that after they mopped me up we got started again and I got them to give me even more nitrous (not as high a level though...)
But I digress. I got out of the dentist's office and went to sit miserably at the Long's while my prescription was being filled, and they REALLY should plan it better than that. I need the vicodin RIGHT AWAY after having the oral rape squad banging away in my mouth, not in a half hour after I take my blood pressure 18 times out of boredom.
One of my cardinal rules of life is that on a day when I see the dentist I no longer have to do anything at all after that. That's e-fucking-nough for the day, don't you think? So I took two vikes and lay in bed reading and nodding out and reading again and I was happy as a clam all day. And that night I waltzed myself out to sushi, got offered a free movie, and the whole rest of the day was just bliss.
Which brings me to the idea that if you're unhappy, it's a pretty good idea to do something that will make you even more dramatically unhappy (I recommend a mushroom trip if you're in bad mood) because afterward you're so relieved not to be THAT fucking unhappy, that you're relatively, um, happy. It's Cherry's homeopathic mood treatment. Afterward, you're just grateful to be alive. You can just lie around and think, hey, at least I'm not tripping balls anymore.

Well, that's it. Cherry on everyone. Treat yourself to some ice cream and vicodin, i recommend it. I didn't go for it this time, but a little corralejo in that mix will take you far.

Cherry